Hopes to metamorphose point of
contention from the truth - "Bush's
daddy got him out of war, then he
went AWOL for 16 months" - to
another brilliant piece of neocon
spin - "Democrats say National
Guard duty is bad."

"So far, so good," says Rove, whose first surrogates
to spew this prevarication will be Fundamentalist
Christian radio stations.

"I got that whacked-out, caked-on makeup wearing bleach-blonde bitch on 105.1 WAVA FM to repeat it four times
today!" exclaimed the doughy aide. "So long as the Democrats don't nip this one in the bud, it'll work like a charm."

FOX is committed to spreading this glurge as far as it can.  Tune in nightly to hear Bill O'Reilly, Shemp Hannity,
and Brit Hubris look right into the camera while spreading this political manure.

Original Faux News Logo © 2001   'Spinner' Logo © 2003

All material herein © 2001-2004

This site is in no way associated with the Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation or the Fox News Channel.  All material herein is intended as parody. Any similarities in format or "personnel"
are purely satirical.  If you're looking for a good case of the Red-Ass, then sue away.  I can always use new material.


Once the nature of the joke became obvious to Ms. Ono things got a little strange. "She ran off the stage yelling
something in Chinese," said Bud Jimmerson of Metarie, "and the audience just clapped even louder!"   Once the
cheering subsided Jimmerson explained the situation to a disoriented (no pun intended) crowd of 3,011 birdcall
enthusiasts.

Not amused, Yoko is ignoring all apologies from the two. "That's too bad," says Delmar, "because it was the best
Sharp-Tailed Grouse any of us'd ever heard."

ROVE Working Hard on    
"Bush Not A.W.O.L." Spin.

ASSman Wipes Up Competition

Putting his scatological skills to work,
Faux News senior sludge researcher
David ASSman won his fourth
consecutive "Corn Pickers Bazaar"
Award, in NYC.

                Tony Snow Three Months Without
               Self-Contradiction
            "Because I'm staying away from
               this immigration/amnesty issue."  Last
               known bout of foot-in-mouth - Nov 2003.  

Janet Jackson released a totally
non-sexy, and in fact completely
down-to-earth videotaped apology
today for her indiscretion during
Sunday's Superbowl halftime show.

"Whew!" says CBS President Leslie
Moonves.  "For a moment there I
thought maybe my judgment was a
little off-kilter, but now it's plainly
obvious that I'm running a
wholesome organization here!"

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The O'LIE'LY Factor

PREVIOUS EDITION

GEORGE TENET's THE NO-SYNONYM ZONE

CIA Boss: "Grave, Gathering Danger"
means nothing like "Imminent Threat"
> Reminds world it was not Bush,
but Rumsfeld, Powell, Fleischer,
Cheney, and Wolfowitz who said,
"imminent threat."
> Speaks to Seventh Grade
Advanced Debate Class.
> Assures Students, Hundreds of
Invited Journalists the Unsolicted
Speech not Politically Motivated
Whatsoever.

RELATED STORIES:
> CIA Questions two students
after Tenet's speech.
> Students had made "suspiciously
advanced" paper airplanes
resembling Saddam Hussein's
Imaginary Unmanned Aerial
Vehicles.

The Most Powerful Smell in News.

5 February 2004

Tenet contemplates calling home to tell family he ain't never coming home no more.

Jackson Humbles Herself
Takes Full Responsibility in
Non-Sexy, Videotaped Apology

Asked about allegations he was A.W.O.L.
during the Vietnam War, President Bush
brilliantly opined, "Them Democratical guys
is bad.  They ain't no good, and I give 'em a
thumbs down."

"Them Democratical guys is bad and ugly
too."

Yoko Ono Wins Bird Call Contest
Thinking it's a Concert

Yoko Ono, widow of Beatle John Lennon, is now a
victim of MTV's newest entry into reality television,
PUNK'D.  Thinking she was at a benefit for orphans,
Ms. Ono agreed to punctuate her visit to the South last
week by performing a few songs from her latest
album, Ai gGi'ona 'Shi'hn, for approximately 3,000
onlookers 20 miles southeast of New Orleans.

After meekly entering the stage Ms. Ono launched into
a 45-second piece called HAIUI.  Before she could
segue into her next song the crowd "went nuts,"
according to Delmar Luquette of Slidell, Louisiana.

Newt Gingrich Releases Statement
Questioning Massachusetts'
Respect for the Sanctity of
Marriage.

Says Legalized Gay Marriage a Blow to
Righteous Morality

mistresses knows
how deeply I feel
about this issue!  
Liberal wacko
Americans will never
respect the sanctity of
marriage the way
good, God-fearing
folks like you and I do
if we allow this atrocity
to continue."

In a prepared statement Newt Priggish,
former Speaker of the House, responded to
Massachusetts' recent ruling on gay marriage.
Says Newt,  "every single one of my wives and