Brit Gunray
The two truck-trailers found to date in Iraq were, in all likelihood, high-tech Microbreweries, according to Stu Ball, Faux News' Pentagon correspondent. This assessment came to light shortly after an investigation wherein NBC News' Tom Brakow discovered - and then pointed out on his May 29 evening broadcast - just how strikingly similar the recovered Iraqi trailers are to an American-made equivalent, the T-125 Mobile Lab.
According to Ball, the types of fermenters, wort coolers, mash mixers, and several other components found in the recovered Iraqi trailers bear an uncanny resemblance to those found in the U.S.-employed T-125. Also, Ball remarked, the overall design of the Iraqi mobile labs virtually mirror their American-made counterparts' layout.
"The layout is virtually the same as those used in Army-sponsored microbreweries," Ball explained, thanking Brakow for his breaking story last month in which NBC confirmed the T-125 mobile microbrewery is currently employed at the Chemical Madness Brewery, in Umatilla, Oregon.
The two recovered truck-trailers also indicate the Iraqis were skilled at some fairly esoteric brewing processes, such as milling and lautering. The first recovered microbrewery lab featured the best sight tube money can buy, and both labs sport recently purchased new lauter grants. Not all the pieces were top-of-the-line, however, as the perforated manifolds in both date back to 1986. Ball explained that some beer and ale, such as the Anniston, Alabama Gas! Gas! Gas! Microbrewery's trademark Lewisite Lager, and Chemical Madness's own Sweet Sarin Stout improve over time.
U.S.-operated Mobile Microbrewery Labs in Umatilla, Oregon and Anniston, Alabama
"Interestingly," Ball added, "these Iraqi microbrewery labs were set up with the most expensive equipment available." For instance, Mr. Ball advised, Bechtel wort refrigeration units, which run up to $32 thousand apiece, and Halliburton fermentors, over $12 thousand each (and constructed of the world's finest glass) were identified by Brakow's crew in the Iraqi labs' inventories. Quipped Ball, "these guys were serious about their beer!"
Of course the entire nation is in awe of Brakow's discovery, and the White House is no exception. When told of Brakow's revelation Secretary of Defense Donald Ricklesfeld could hardly contain his surprise, exclaiming, "Great. Way to go, Tom."
Brit Gunray began his career in journalism as a newspaper in 1974, in Gaithersburg, Maryland. Since that time Gunray has covered expensive table tops, penthouse window panes, and a number of other important objects throughout his career. A dignified and gracious Changeling, Gunray served as an ABC News conference room doorknob for 25 years. He was later promoted to a hill, and came to work for FOX, where he is now a regular panel in the Green Room. Seeking all corners of creation, Brit strives to crush the natives of the freedom-loving planet, Liberalis. No champion of open-mindedness, Brit patrols the atmosphere of progress, smartly zapping anyone and everyone who reaches it. His Daily Denunciation can be heard every day on WNUTS 450 AM Talk Radio.
Pope Going to Hell
God Gives President Bush the ScoopClem TiddleFor several centuries now the Catholic Church has been a bully pulpit of Pseudo-Christianity for those who have the devil in them, and who cannot see the righteous path. This was not always the case.
As many of you may know, the Catholic Church undertook a noble cause a little less than a millennium ago through a little-known act of benevolence commonly referred to as the Crusades.
The Crusades were a valiant attempt to spread the Good Word across the heretical Arabian Desert and beyond. These efforts took centuries and alas, failed. This failure is painfully obvious, as evidenced by the presence of moslems still today. But this failure, in part, came about largely because the Crusaders did not have access to M-1 Abrams Tanks, Cruise Missiles, B-1B Bombers, or even small arms ammunition.
But we do, and it just seems logical that the leader of an organization so hell-bent on saving a people 1,000 years ago would be thrilled to hear about our ongoing efforts to spread The Gospel throughout the Middle East. However, this is not the case.
In His last conversation with President Bush, God revealed that the leader of the apparently liberalized Catholic Church (check out their stance on evolution, for instance) is not with us.
The Pope and his little church, therefore, are against us. I don't think I have to tell you what that means.
Clem Tiddle is the world's most intelligent, righteous, and thought-provoking journalist on God's great planet Earth. He questions the validity of progress, and promotes the elimination of Chemistry, Biology, and Heliocentrism. Supporting a return to Inquisitional methodology, Clem is heard daily, by over 920 million listeners, on WNUTS 450 A.M.
Hollywood Thumbs It's Nose
To Much Freedom Makes Hollywood Elitists Think Their Better Then UsShemp HammityWhen liberals wine about the president its okay to wine about them wining about the president. That's call Freedom of Spech, e.g. it's one thing to wine about it when liberals wine about stuff they don't like.
But when they wanna wine about folks who wine about them because them folks wined about stuff the elitists wined about, well that's just too excessively much for me to digest. And its morally offensive to. It don't take a whole lot of intellectually rational logical truth honesty to see how this is bein' hypocritical, because the elitists think their so much more smarter anyways then the rest of us and don't apparently feel like our opinions matters to much.
Last week Hollywood personality Tim Robbins told a interviewer that some fake and phoney fictitional right wing media machine was makeing a big deal about him bein' anti-American and not a Patriot. He also says that other Hollywood liberal elist scumbag pinko fags just like him are bein' maked a big deal of to. Now, weather or not its true is irrevelant, but to me, in my own personal opinion, I personally think he's braking the law.
He's clearly in violation of the First Amendment. Let freedom ring, I always say, but the freedom of speech should only apply to stuff that's right and not stuff that's obliviously wrong. I think a important man once said "Don't never yell 'Freedom!' in a crowded Republican Convention," because its dangerous to have to much freedoms. And this fag Robbins is doing just exactly that - he's aidin' and abettin' other enemys like Susan Sarandon and Barbara Streisand who want to destory everything that is good and allow more bad things into every day life, like kids wearin' denims to school, woman talking in church, children under the age of 21 buyin' condims, and comedians like Lenny Bruce get away with sayin' offensive stuff. These Hollywood actor-type people are violatin' the spirit of truely restricted freedom, which is the freedom moral folks like me uses.
Anyone who thinks freedom means "to be free" is probly a communist wack-job, because its obvious real freedom is a very strictly contol set of rules and regulations including moral stuff. These commie libertarian types just needs to shut up. Liberal freedom which the liberatarians wants is to darn free.
Our nobel leader has mention a couple times that they're ought to be limitationisms on freedom, and in my opinion I know he's right. To much freedom is a scarey thing and it causes amongst other things elitism, in other words when you mistakedly believe your so much more smarter then other people. And the last time I checked the Constitution didn't mention nothin' about no freedom of elitism.
Shemp Hammity earned his Electrician's License in 1986 and Associate's Degree in General Education from Sage Junior College of Albany in 1993. His radio show can be heard daily on WNUTS 450 AM Talk Radio.
Attack Iran Now!
Guest Columnist Kathleen Kuntly of
The Republican Press
How long are the Democrats going to wait? President Bush has led this country through the war in Afghanistan, and the war in Iraq, and the War on Terror, and the Democrats are still nonbelievers! President Bush has declared victory on all three fronts! Sure, we haven't found WMD or Saddam or Bin Laden, but we have declared victory and that’s what matters most!More
