| Letters: The Best of FOX News Political Satire |
All images, music, ideas, and nonsense herein © P. Thompson Original Faux News Logo © 2001 (read it and weep) 'Spinner' Logo © 2003; 'Swastika' Logo © 2005 This hilarious, political satire-rich web site -- chock full of full political parody -- is in no way associated with the Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation, Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity, Brit Hume, Tony Snow, Oliver North, Geraldo Rivera, John Gibson, FOX & Friends, Greta von Susteren, or any other part of the idiotic Fox News Channel. All material herein is intended as parody. Similarities in format or "personnel" are satirical. If you're looking for a good, old-fashioned beat-down, sue away, you conservative wing nut. I could use the material. Contact me |
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| Actual emails from readers who wrote to "webmaster@fauxnewschannel.com" thinking they were writing to the real FOX News: |
| Subject: E. D. Hill From: "Philip Reich" <preich@wpia.net> To: webmaster@fauxnewschannel.com Dear E.D., I enjoy your morning show. You are one of my favorites. If at all possible, would you be able to send me a signed photograph. If not I understand. Philip G. Reich Executive Vice President Citizens National Bank 135 Center St. PO Box 29 Meyersdale, PA 15552 |
| Some executive president of a bank looked at this picture of E.D. Hill and thought "yeah, this is the right website." |
| Click for larger image. |
| Subject: re; infantry From: "robert hysell" <sarg1@charter.net> To: webmaster@fauxnewschannel.com as s sgt in the 24th inf div that served in korea in july 1950 an 1951[ its hard for me to understand how a person could receive a silver star for chaseing down one man an killing him if this is the way the navy gives an award out to the guys in the nave it makes the armys stars mean nothing; i receive 2 purple hearts from wounds in korea an was in the hosptial because of both of them an in korea if you wounded your self by siw you went to the big 8 stock ad an kicked out of the army |
| Subject: Brian's BookFrom: ""Stephanie Piner" <stephpiner@yahoo.com>To: webmaster@fauxnewschannel.com Mr. Kilmeade, Are planning to do a book signing tour for your new book, "The Games Do Count"? I live near Huntsville, AL and would love to meet you and have my book signed. I am also giving several out for Christmas. You, Steve, and E.D. are so much fun to watch. I wake up every morning at 5am just to watch you guys. If I sleep in, my day just doesn't go well. Congratulations on such a sucess with your book! Thank you, Stephanie Piner Decatur, AL |
| Editor's Note: The next one is my favorite. This guy communicated with me several times, thinking I was Sean Hannity: Subject: Sean Hannity From: "elijah" prip@comcast.net To: webmaster@fauxnewschannel.com I wanna puke. I watch the program every nite and listen on the radio. Sean is out of control with Terri Schiavo I sadly have to say this, he has turned into a user of events, he loves to brag I am a " great American ". Where was Sean last year???. If he was such a good Christain like he claims, he would of been all over this story a long time ago. Sean does not have the nerve needed to ask a person like me who would take him on for all his grand standing.......... Plain English he is a bull shitter who makes a lot of money off of suckers like me who listens to him. I might add this, I lost all respect for this man. I am no lib, a very stanch republican. Paul Riopel, 904 924 0561 like I no he is a chicken to ever call me, I just called you out Sean, like you do other people ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: Sean Hannity From: "SEAN HANNITTY" To: "elijah" prip@comcast.net PAUL, NEVER THOUGHT YOU'D HERE FROM SEAN HANNITTY, DID? WELL YOU CALL ME OUT AND HERE I AM IT HAS COME TO MY ATENTION YOUR CALLING ME A BS ARTIST AND, I'M NOT GONNA TO STAND FOR IT. I'LL BE IN JACKSONVILLE NEXT MONTH FOR SOME FAMILY BUSNESS, BUDDY, SO IF YOU'D LIKE TO GET TOGETHER FOR A ASS-WHOOPING CONTEST I SAY LET GO FOR IT BIG BOY. SEND ME YOU'RE STREET ADRESS AND A GOOD TIME IN EARLY MAY SO I CAN PERSONLY COME KICK YOUR LIBEREL ASS. PREPARE TO BE HANNITIZED! --SEAN HANNITTY ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: Sean Hannity From: "elijah" prip@comcast.net To: "SEAN HANNITTY" Sean, To be honest it blew me way you responded. Want to make it perfectly clear I am no Liberal. Would be pleased to have the honor of speaking to you. But, over the Terri Schiavo issue I will not back down. I respect your back ground and feel you got caught up on the issue and ratings. The last past week I turn off my office radio, car radio and your TV program. after I listen a about 20 minutes. Yes I listened to you 4 hours a day. I am not apoligizing, I still feel the same way about this issue. Would be happy to discuss and as you put it take a ass-whopping. Respectfully Paul Riopel, 1000 Broward Road #707, Jacksonville Florida 32218 |
| Subject: Just saying thanks for what you do From: hscourie@swbell.net To: webmaster@fauxnewschannel.com Sean: My name is Donald Holloway, I am a Vietnam Vet and a republican. I agree with most of what you talk about and I listen to your show every day and watch every night. You just make my day so much better. God Bless and Keep you up there! You are a great American Tell your wife, Thanks for suporting and standing behind you! She sounds like my wife I dont know what I would do without her. Thanks! Don Holloway( Ft. Worth, Texas) PS I have tried to call in several times and never able too on you talk show in Dallas/ Ft. Worth. |
| Subject: changes From: "Connie Wright" <cew2@earthlink.net> To: webmaster@fauxnewschannel.com Dear Mr. Fuhrman, I recently watched the t.v. movie (for the 6th time) about your work on the Martha Moxley case but this time I noticed a sense of regret and change that was added to you. You were talking to the former detective and you mentioned the lying about the use of the n word plus you seemed to be saying you saw yourself as too sure of yourself. We all know that O.J. is a double murderer but you said that because of your lies you allowed the trial to be taken off of him and put on you (I may be paraphasing). I was wondering if you have had a change of heart of years of pondering on everything you did and all that you have seen. You are too intelligent to be led astray by racial or ethnic or economical backgrounds to hinder the truths and I was hoping you have been able to rise above all that plus your own intelligence. I, too, have been a victim of my own (perceived) above intellectual capacity to those around me in my area of nursing. I have had to learn the hard way and now fight the feeling almost every day. I do hate ignorance and pray to know the difference. I wish you and your family all the best and hope you continue to do good just the way you did with Martha Moxley. People who aren't afraid of what others say about them as long as they know they are doing the right things are just what we need. Good luck. Connie Wright cew2@earthlink.net |
| Subject: Geraldo Rivera From: "Lydia Hollowell" <LydiaHollowell@msn.com> To: webmaster@fauxnewschannel.com Priority: Norma How do we contact Geraldo and express our great dismay at his actions over the years?? Back in 1971, he was a hero to so many of us when he went into Willowbrook and got that place closed. What has happened to this man? Has his ego has so inflated that he can't recall the good he used to do? What a hack, kiss-up to Bill O'Reilly and a total disappointment!!!!!!!!!!! |
| Subject: Obama - Anti-Christ? From: "Patsy Thomas" <pthomas2233@bellsouth.net> To: webmaster@fauxnewschannel.com Dear Mr. Hannity. Love you, love you, love you! I wish everyone would really listen to what you say and as one man in your "on the street" questions said he listened to what you had to say, checked the facts and changed his vote to McCain. I wish everyone could be as smart. Please tell me where I can find the commercial you ran last week that was comparing Obama to Jesus. I have never seen anything more sacrilegious or more apalling. If it weren't for the fact that so many of us are still here, I would believe that we are looking at the Anti-Christ. I would like to share this with some of my friends, some who are for Obama but are also Christians. Thanks so much and please keep on keeping on. Somebody needs to get the word out and keep it out!!. Patsy Thomas Winston-Saleem, NC |
| Subject: Your inhouse shrink From: "Judy Trinkaus" <Judy.Trinkaus@itd.idaho.gov> To: webmaster@fauxnewschannel.com I am a long time fan. I tuned in too watch your Sunday show on Fox, and was very disappointed with the clothing choice of your guest psychologist (don't recall her name). Too be quite blunt her top just barely covered her nipples! She certainly likes to flaunt her physical attributes, if that's what you call them. Is your show a family show? If so then cover up at least 5 inches of her chest. She is no role model for our young women! JUDY |
| Subject: trying to get a message to Cal Thomas From: Bklenkn@aol.com To: webmaster@fauxnewschannel.com I've been unable to get an e-message to Mr. Thomas at addresses published in his syndicated column.So, the editor of my local paper, suggested that I try this venue. At the request of his son, Ken, I wish to inform Mr. Thomas of the sudden death of our dear mutual friend, McKendree R. Langley on Thursday, October 13. He was 60. His wife, Sandy, is at home at their residence in Ambler,PA With sympathy, Bonnie Klenk - a fan of Cal's and a fan of Mick's - and a sister in Christ |
| Subject: Neil Cavuto From: "Diane Hofstetter" <bethel@stjoelive.com> To: webmaster@fauxnewschannel.com I would like to discuss the PAWS legislation with Neil. could you have him contact me or give me his contact info? Thanks, Diane Hofstetter Diane Hofstetter Ch Pendragon Mountain Magic aka Abby Cachet Noir Vision Quest aka Dakota |
| Subject: DJ Aruba From: goodfish2@msn.com To: webmaster@fauxnewschannel.com Greta, See if you can find out if the DJ has his own pivate skiff. Maybe he loaned it to Van Der Sloot and his dad. Maybe that is why the Dj is being held. What size is it how big is it ect. Gene |
| Subject: Congratulations, You out debated Bill O'Reilly From: "Bob Sinclair" <bob@bobsinclair.com> To: webmaster@fauxnewschannel.com Dear Neil: I normally don't write or bother television personalities, but, I must commend you on your debate with Bill O'Reilly on oil company profits last night. I am just a regular television viewer who likes your show and also occasionally watches Bill O'Reilly (mostly for entertainment). I am not employed by any oil company and have no vested interest in high oil prices. I was totally amazed by your clear and concise arguments on why oil prices are as high as they are today. It's too bad you couldn't expound on them more, but I realize you have time constraints on TV. I found that it was particularly refreshing that your arguments were based on clear FACTS! Bill O'Reilly, in my opinion, is one of the best debaters and has a charismatic presence, but, can be quite wrong on some issues. Although he says he's FAIR AND BALANCED, you brought to light the issues surrounding high oil prices and made his views look biased and emotionally driven. It's not often that I have seen anyone totally out debate Bill O'Reilly; in fact you are the only one I've seen. However, in my opinion, on all accounts you really did! He really just doesn't get it, as you said. Keep up the good work and who knows, I might buy your new book. Congratulations! Bob Sinclair Arlington, MA |
| Subject: I'd like to suggest a story. From: "DOLORES ANGULO" <lucky1369@verizon.net> To: webmaster@fauxnewschannel.com reciving threats by people goverment consperecy info on murderers that are being coved up info on a freind incarserated for merder that was manipalated to comit murder very ergent 562-807-2559 Rene call say you have a job for me dont want family to know |
| Subject: Pass to Ollie North From: WJayNace@aol.com To: webmaster@fauxnewschannel.com I'm sure you will appreciate this, if you have not seen it as yet. Best regards, and keep up your good work on the FOX News chamnnel. Best Regards, Jay Nace, CAPT, USN, Ret Those of you who might not know, the man on the left is the Commandant of the Marine Corps, and he is proud to know the man on the right. Maybe you'd like to hear about a real American, somebody who honored the uniform he wears Meet Brian Chontosh Churchville-Chili Central School Class of 1991. Proud graduate of the Rochester Institute of Technology. |
| Subject: Inaugural From: "Paul Straka" <straks922@charter.net> To: webmaster@fauxnewschannel.com Sean, Let me begin by saying that I support and respect the president. However in the times that we are facing, the war, rising deficits, unemployment and other great challenges in this uncertain time, maybe the president should forgo the huge expense and extravaganza of a formal inauguration. The president should suggest that any money that was earmarked for this event should instead be donated to some humanitarian cause. The great number of people this would embolden would far outweight the few who actually benefit from this event. I hope someone in the media picks up on this theme, it would do a lot for the "little guy". P Straka Baxter Mn 218-825-0404 |
